Day 22: Next Step

I almost forgot that today I should add a new step. Seeing that last week I took something away – which I still need a lot of work on, this week I'll add something and that is drinking more water. At least 1.3 litres a day. I know that it isn't much but when it's cold out, I don't drink much and just the thought of that much drowns me.

I'm making pea soup for this week's legume (are dried peas legumes?). I like to buy bags of dried peas with hopes of making pea soup because my SS's grandmother makes such good pea soup. Unfortunately I usually end up noticing that the best before date has gone (which tells you how long the bag is in the cupboard) and I have to throw them away. Today I just took a recipe from the internet and will try it so that I don't have to throw this package away too.

Day 20: White Bread

I've been thinking of trying to stop eating wheat, or at least cut it down a lot, because I have noticed that my stomach feels a bit upset after eating it. And sometimes even the thought of how it will feel after eating it puts me off.

The problem is that I like having a sandwich for lunch. I suppose that I could try not using any other wheat products that day but then we couldn't, for example, have pasta on the same day. It might be that the processed wheat doesn't agree with me but I have never seen 100% whole wheat bread here. It is usually used as an added ingredient. I seldom buy 100% white bread anyway. I should keep a bread diary and see how my stomach feels after each type of flour product.

Yesterday all I could do was eat. Or think about it, so I would give in. I know that this is a progress that I have to go through before I will accept not snacking when I shouldn't, but it feels so hopeless at the moment. I shouldn't think that way, as I have only just added this step, but it's fun to beat oneself up. (Not really.)

Day 18: Struggling

It's been difficult not to snack when I shouldn't. I suppose it has become a habit. Just like eating after my evening snack and I was able to stop doing that. So I can conquer this too.

This week's legume dish was basically taken from the back of the lentil package. I couldn't find any info about the company on the package nor on the internet. Strange. This is my adaptation.

Green Lentil Dish

2 dl green lentils, rinsed
6 dl water
Cook with lid for 25-30 minutes or until done.

2 tbsp oil, for cooking
2 celery stalks, chopped
2 potatoes, chopped (size depends on how much you want to eat)
2 carrots, chopped (size depends on how much you want to eat)
Cook vegetables in oil until potatoes are almost done. Add
2 - 2.5 dl corn
white pepper, to taste
herb salt, to taste
cooked lentils
Continue cooking until potatoes are done. May need to add more oil.

Day 15: Pancakes

Seeing that I'm going to try to add and subtract things from my life on this quest to a healthier life, I should subtract something this week. So no snacking between scheduled meals and snacks.

None of this taking a slice of cheese here, a few nuts there, or chocolate anytime, anyplace. It will be difficult with chocolate because this means that I have to eat it with a meal or scheduled snack. No sneaking it on the sly and eating chewing gum after to hide the smell. (Hmm, what kind of person does that sound like.) Of course now that I've come to this decision and should start today it is only 9.25 and my tummy is grumbling, which it very seldom does. Maybe I'll have to start having a mid-morning snack, which I very seldom do.

Yesterday, because my SS had a stressful evening, I decided to make pancakes, which I don't do very often because I can't be bothered to stand in front of the frying pan for that long. (Oh yeah, I just realized that I hadn't told him why I made them.) I wanted them to be a bit healthy and we hadn't had our fruit for the day (don't worry I'm planning to add more fruit to our diet when I get around to it and find enough fruits that are edible).

I tend to gather a few (well maybe 10, or 20) cookbooks and/or recipes from the internet and tweak them so I end up with a recipe I'll make. I often have to change them because they include ingredients that I can't get here or they have stuff that I don't eat (like onions) or don't want to eat (like added salt) or we don't need to eat (like 3 cups of sugar). But yesterday I was lazy so I just googled blueberry buttermilk oatmeal pancakes and basically just used the first recipe I got. OK without the salt, sugar, butter (I used oil – couldn't be bothered to melt the butter) or blueberries. I used black currents instead of the blueberries. Not a good choice, but I'm trying to get rid of last year's stash. Word to the wise – consider very carefully how many black currants you will want to eat when someone tells you that you can pick them all because their freezer is broken.

Day 14: I've Found Food Blogs

I had been mainly reading knitting blogs but somehow went to somebody's recipe somewhere and started looking at a few links that were mentioned, and you can guess the rest. I tend to start reading a blog from the beginning, which may take awhile, depending on when they started it. So I'm trying not to do that with the food blogs I've found. Looking at the pictures they show helps in this. If it isn't something I'm likely to make, then I try to skip that entry.

So I was thinking that I could add recipes to my own blog. I know that I already have one for red lentil soup but I put that partially so that I would remember myself how I had made it.

Yesterday I made mushy potatoes. I guess they could be called lumpy potatoes but that wouldn't sound as appetizing. The idea is not to mash them until smooth.


Mushed Potatoes
Amounts and sizes depend on how much you want to end up with.

Water to cook vegetables in
salt (optional)
1 parsnip, peeled and chopped
2 carrots, peeled and chopped
1 garlic clove, peeled and chopped finely (sometimes I add this, sometimes I don't)
I put these into the saucepan and bring to a boil.
Potatoes, enough for how many servings you want, peeled and chopped.
I add the potatoes after the other vegetables have been cooking a bit.
Once the potatoes are done, drain the water.
Add (salt and) pepper, to taste.
Add your dairy product(s): milk or sour cream or something like that (and butter if you want), not too much because this is suppose to be thickish.
Mush as much as you like and serve.

Day 13: Chewing Chocolate

I don't know about you other chocoholics out there but I tend to put chocolate in my mouth, give it a bite or two and swallow. Now you would think that keeping in one's mouth as long as possible would be the aim if all you want to eat is chocolate, but no. I can't imagine actually chewing chocolate so because I'm suppose to be focusing on chewing my food, I've been letting it dissolve in my mouth. This is really hard to do. Any suggestions besides not eating it?

Day 12: Catching Up

OK so I've missed a few entries but who cares? Who else would be interested in my chewing? I must admit that I feel silly praising myself an hour or so after I have finished eating for remembering that I'm suppose to chew more. Though I did remember to chew while I was eating yesterday's supper. Progress!

I made red lentil soup. It was scrumptious. I could image being a vegetarian if all my meals tasted like this (without the chicken broth, of course). Why then does chocolate dominate my brain? Why can't I eat healthy things like this instead of junk?





Red Lentil Soup
1 litre water
1 vegetable broth cube
1 chicken broth cube
2 celery stalks, chopped
2 large carrots, chopped
2 large potatoes, chopped
1 garlic clove (or more if you like)
1 large mushroom, chopped
Cook these for awhile and then add
2.5 dl red lentils
curry to taste
chili to taste
black pepper to taste
Cook until carrots and red lentils are done.

I went to the chip section in the store because my SS told me that he had seen salt and vinegar there. I was sure that he was mistaken because they haven't had it in a few years but I had to find out. I don't know if I would have bought them if they had had some, but fortunately they didn't. Confession time – I checked out all of the grocery stores around. I couldn't get the taste out of my mind.

Day 9: Ho Hum

It's not like I have to think about what I am going to eat because it is there in front of me. It is automatic by now to pick up said food and put it into my mouth. So why is it so difficult to remember to chew more!

Chew, chew, chew! I will silently praise myself when I remember to chew more rather than berate myself for forgetting. Positive reinforcement!

Day 8: Biting Off More Than One Can Chew

Actually I don't bite off more than I can chew, it was just a nice title. Have you ever seen someone stuff so much into their mouth that you wonder how on earth they are going to get their jaws to move so that they can chew?

Anyway my new goal has to do with chewing though. I need to start chewing my food more. Not only will it slow down my eating but it will be good for my digestive system. I found this page about chewing. I woke up this morning remembering that I should focus on chewing more, but it never entered my mind when I ate breakfast. I need to find a way to remember.

Today I measured my waist (as I will try to do weekly) and it was 1 cm smaller. Though I know that my waist size doesn't correspond with my weight (I can be the same weight and have different waist measurements), it is the most noticible area of fat and I would like to get rid of as much as I can.

Day 7: Midnight Feast

Sometimes I have difficulties falling asleep, so after an hour of turning I got up to read. Usually by the time I feel tired enough to try to sleep, I'm also hungry. So I had a mouthful of today's lunch, (well two mouthfuls, OK, OK it was three!) before deciding that I wouldn't have anything left for lunch if I kept eating.

I ate a satsuma. Then it hit me. All I could think of was eating. I wasn't hungry anymore, I just wanted to eat. It's the times like these when I remember how addicted I am to eating and I wonder how I will work on that.

So I ate whole wheat crackers and garlic cream cheese. And then I went to bed with an avenging stomach. Sigh.

Day 6: I Have My Cake And Eat It Too

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

When I started this I decided that I would do it quite slowly. One step at a time so that I can get used to things. (I don't like changes very much.) So very, very far down along the line will be reducing sugars, (maybe) white flour and things of that nature.

In other words, I'm going to eat the Mother's Day coconut coffee cake that my SS made for me. Well, not all of it of course, he'll want some too. I doubt that I will ever be that type of person who will pass on all sweets (how could I live without chocolate?). When I add portion control, I can start dealing with it then. (ROFL!)

Day 5: The Trouble With Skinny Teenagers

My teenager is quite skinny, so he doesn't need to think about his weight. Which makes it difficult when he wants something that I shouldn't have. Like chips. OK I know that cheese snacks (or whatever they are called) aren't chips but I put them in the same category. (Because if I have one I have to have the whole bag. Or half the bag if I am sharing them with my SS (skinny son)).

When I asked him if he wanted anything from the store, he said that we hadn't had chips for awhile. I gave him the news that I wasn't going to buy any because I would want to eat them. Being the smart teenager that he is, he said that he could eat them in his room and hide the rest. Like I don't know every place in his room where a bag of chips would fit.

I was at the store and I saw these, and they were on sale and really cheap. So I gave in and bought him a bag. I told him though that he couldn't eat them at home but could take them with him when he went to his friend's on Sunday. Well, one of his friends came over yesterday and SS wanted something to munch on, so I suggested they could eat the cheese snacks.

I have never noticed before how strong smelling they are. And they were so tempting when I was taking their photo. Just lying there waiting for me to stuff put them in my mouth. But I didn't eat one! Not a single one. But I am wondering where the bag is hidden...

I should also think of his health in the future too, and not buy them for him either. (He can get them elsewhere and I won't be contributing to his eating as much junk food.)

Day 4: Mirror, Mirror

We don't have a full-length mirror. The only time I see the 'real me' (as apposed to what I can see in the bathroom mirror, which is nothing below the chest) is when I am in a clothing store. My son is over 190 cm tall. Yesterday when I caught him contorting his body about in front of the bathroom mirror trying to see what a shirt looked like on him, I decided that maybe it is time to get a full-length mirror.

The obvious problem (to me) is where to put it so that 1) He can see his full length and, which is totally more important (to me) is, 2) I am not constantly seeing an image of the really fat 'real' me. I so seldom go to clothing stores that it is always a shock what I really look like. Do I want to see myself everyday? Would it be a good thing (reminder of what I need to do) or a bad thing (reminder of what I haven't done)? Also the reality in my head doesn't meet the reality of mirrors!

Day 3: Titles

I had decided that I would just use 'Day #' as my title because that's what interests me, but then I thought that if anyone every finds their way here, it wouldn't be very inviting to them. So I'm going to add a heading to it too.

I like Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays because I rarely go to the store on those days. That means that if I don't have something that I must have to eat, then that's too bad. I hadn't thought about it but my chip eating habit has changed. There used to be a time when I would go to the store just to buy a bag of chips. Then I had my son, and somewhere along the way I guess I just dropped it.

Now why did I have to start writing about chips!

Day 2: Cheddar Cheese

I'm pleased with myself. I went to two grocery stores today and I didn't even think of chips. I must confess that it had nothing to do with my decision to stop eating chips. I hadn't made a grocery list, so I was focusing on what on earth do we need and for some reason chips didn't even enter my mind.

It's a good thing though that I am just starting on this journey because I bought some cheddar cheese. It wasn't until I started to write this entry that I thought that I would check the fat content of said cheddar. 34.4%! I'm glad that I didn't examine the fat content in the store because I might not have bought it have had to go back to the cheese section after thinking about it.

Well you think, why doesn't she just go out and buy some fat free cheddar? It does, after all exist. (I had to check that it does, so I googled it.) It isn't so simple. I'm amazed if I even see cheddar in a grocery store because some stores don't even carry it here. I suppose it is good in a way, because then I CAN'T BUY IT. I have never found fat free cheese here. The lowest I've seen is 5%.

Day 1: Step One

I hadn't thought about it, but my son has never seen my waist. Instead he has grown up looking at all the fat that conceals it. If I think more about it, it has been so long since I have seen my waist, I have no idea what shape it is. As far back as I can remember it has been barrel shaped. No indentations on the sides, only between the rolls.

Health-wise I have to loose weight if I don't want to start taking insulin.I have known this for some time, and so I haven't been to have my blood sugar tested (I have my own tester.). Last year I was able to loose 6 kilos by cutting out eating after my evening snack. It took about 5 months to not think about eating later in the evening. I don't even think about it anymore, except when my stomach growls, which isn't very often, and then I eat something small. If I could find more steps like that, then it would be easier. I don't want to be on a diet, I want to make life changes. Blah! Giving up chocolate will probably be the last thing.

I am going to try to make a life change once a week. There are so many changes that have to be made that I don't want to try to many at a time. I think that I will alternate between withdrawals (not eating something) and additions (adding something to my diet or life). Too many withdrawals might be too torturous.

For now I am only going to try to loose a total of 10 kilos, so that I can go to the diabetes nurse, with a 10 kilo weight loss! After that I'll try to get it down to the next goal, but I haven't decided what it will be yet. I have a lot to loose, so this will be some process! Probably quite slow too.